i'd walk the wire for you

Thanksgiving is next week, isn't it? I called Dad and relayed a grocery list of things to buy if he wants to have more than leftovers for dinner that day so I hope he got everything. It just wouldn't be the holiday if I didn't go home and cook for Dad and Josh and Izzy. I really hope they haven't done anything too bad with my room.

Is anyone else going home for Thanksgiving? Maybe we'll see each other while we're back.

And then, of course, is the infamous Day After Thanksgiving, otherwise known as Black Friday. The morning sprint to the toy stores to take advantage of the early sales before the other mothers and older sisters so your little boy/brother can be the one to unwrap a, um, Omega Prime or whatever that giant robot's name is on Christmas Day.

Should be fun.

I think I might want to get a job or something, just to have a little extra pocket money. I mean, Dad sends money, but I put it all in the bank. I have a few options, but I think I might take a job at the bookstore. Employee discounts are the second best part of having a job, aren't they?

Thanks to all of you who came up (or down) for the party. It was nice to see you all again. It was like being back in Forks where we threw parties every weekend for lack of anything else to do. I miss those days. Moving on and moving forward are nice, but we can't forget the ties that bind us.

Plus, I think Ben got tons of great pictures that some of you might not want to see the light of day, which is always my favorite part of the party.

Classes are going alright, too. Psychology has a way of making you think that everyone you know has some kind of personality disorder - yourself included. The other students joke that our textbook should be called You And Everyone You Know Is Crazy which... wouldn't be that far off, actually.

Freshman orientation has been pretty hectic thus far, but I'm actually really enjoying myself. I met two other people who are majoring in Psychology and they seem pretty nice. One is named Rochelle and the other is Logan.

We were supposed to be attending a discussion group, but Rochelle decided she wanted to go and get coffee instead and I was taken against my will. It was good coffee, but what if I missed something important in the discussion group? Or what if they noticed I was gone?

Anyway, Rochelle and Logan are nice when they're not hoisting me over their shoulders, sticking me in the backseat of their Honda Civics, and tearing off toward the nearest Starbucks.

But other than that, I am enjoying myself. Living in an apartment with Ben is really comfortable. I actually stayed awake through an entire martial arts film yesterday. Of course, this was due largely in part to the fact that I was reading Peter and Wendy, but I was paying attention to select parts and it wasn't boring. It's a little belated to be saying so, but I think this could work.

Welcome home, Bella and Edward. Forks just wasn't the same without you. And I'm so glad to hear you guys are going to Mike's party before you leave. It's going to be so more fun now! Which reminds me that I have the CD of pictures from your wedding and the DVD of Edward and Jasper's performance. Let me know when I can drop them off.

Dad bought me a laptop, a new phone, and new iPod. I tried telling him that I didn't need all of these things (my iPod still works just fine and the new phone is just superfluous) but he insisted. I had to talk him out of taking me shopping for a whole new college wardrobe, though I did see this cute little sweater at the store I couldn't stop myself from buying, but that's good enough.

And I'm convinced now more than ever that one of the boys is moving into my room when I go off to college. Specifically, I think it's Isaac. I'm accusing him because I walked by the twins' room and I heard him say, "I think the walls would look better in silver. With a race car stripe. And that giant mirror in the closet's just gonna get broken anyway so we may as well take it out."

Meanwhile, I'm the only one with a giant mirror in my closet. You know, they could just ask for my room so I could say no and help them clean up the guest room. Even I think nine is boarding on a little too old to be sharing a room. As it is, I'll just keep waiting for Dad to come and give me the Gee, Angela, You're Going To College So You Won't Really Be Needing This Room Talk.

Forks seems so empty with all the Cullens gone. They'd kind of become like a permanent fixture in town, don't you think? It's just weird to have them gone. Then again, it could just be me that thinks of these things. Everybody else is probably concerned about packing for college.

Thankfully, I don't have too much to pack because I didn't have too much to begin with and most of what I do have I can leave here. I don't think I'll need the three suitcases Dad got. I just need to email my roommate and find out what she's bringing and then bring what she doesn't. It shouldn't be that difficult. What he thinks I'm going to do with three suitcases, I'll never know.

Anyway, I've got more free time than I thought I would since Edward and Bella have me staying in Forks a couple of extra days to see them off to Alaska. Does anyone want to go to First Beach? I want to go bodyboarding or snorkeling or something.

I don't know if you've chanced a look outside, but the sun is actually shining. I think we should take advantage of that before it goes into hiding again!

I can't believe the wedding is tomorrow. I'm bouncing around the house and it's not even my wedding! I suppose I just love it when two people who are meant to be find their way to one another. They sort of remind me of my parents at that age.

Perhaps Bella's wedding is a good luck charm for everyone else. A lot of great things do seem to be happening. It just makes me sad that I leave for college on the 25th. It seemed so far away before, but now it seems too soon before I have to say goodbye to Forks for awhile.

I'll just have to appreciate it more for the next thirteen days. See more sights. Take more risks. Go to more parties. The whole nine yards. Who knows when I'll get the chance again?

Private to Jessica;

Is there anything I can do to help you plan the farewell party? Buy some streamers perhaps or party favors in the form of little autograph books for us all to sign? I know we all got yearbooks and sign those, but I feel like I would have more to say now.

End Private;

My Dad is thinking about giving me the money to buy a car once I get to Seattle. You know, as a late graduation present. But I'm torn between the car and a laptop, which might come in more handy. I know Seattle is bigger than Forks, but what if I can't always make it to the computer lab?

There's a reason they tell you not to invite your boyfriend over when you're baby-sitting. While Ben and I argued over whether half the stunts done in Mr. and Mrs. Smith are actually possible, Josh and Isaac made a mess of the kidding kitchen. There was flour and butter all over the place. I had to send Ben home so I could clean it up and I just finished.

I couldn't be angry with them, though. They said they were only trying to make me a cake and since there was a recipe book open on the counter, I have no reason to distrust them.

Still, that doesn't mean I'm not absolutely exhausted now. I meant to go shopping for a dress for the wedding but now I think I'll just fall into bed instead. Just as soon as dad gets home.

Here are the suggestions I’ve received for what to buy for Bella’s wedding gift thus far:

-The Good Book (Dad)
-Tekken 3 (Joshua)
-A Willy Wonka Chocolate bar for Isaac (Isaac)

The fine art of gift-buying is sometimes lost on boys, especially boys who’ve forgotten or have yet to experience being eighteen. Obviously, I’ll have to go on this particular shopping venture alone (though I’ll pick up the video game and the chocolate bar for the boys, anyway, for trying).

No one’s saying it, but I think they’re just as sad as I am that I’m leaving. Don’t get me wrong; I’m excited to be going to college and gaining a wealth of new experiences, but Forks will always be my little home occasionally missing on a US map.

look into your heart, you will find there is nothing left to hide
take me as i am, take my life, i would give it all, i would sacrifice
there is no love like your love and no other could give me more love
there is nowhere unless you're there all the time, all the way

( i can't help it there's nothing i want more )